Murphy’s Laws of Martial Arts
- The referee will always be looking away when you score. You can never tie your Taekwondo Uniform when a member of the opposite sex are present in class. In a vacant locker room, the only other person dressing will have the locker next to yours.
- The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you’re up against him.
- The class you make it to on time is when the instructor will be sick.
- You are the only student your instructor calls on to show joint-locking techniques.
- No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it’s your turn.
- After a perfect Kata you will trip on the way back to your seat. After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
- When you have to use your martial arts, your opponents father will be a lawyer.
What are the 10 thing to tell you are in a McDojo?
1. The martial arts Instructors Certificate. In Crayon.
2. The martial arts school’s Senior Assistant Instructor is a 4 year old 3rd degree black belt.
3. There is a sign in the window stating, “We teach over 10 martial arts“.
4. The art they teach is Korean. (bad)
5. After signing up for martial arts classes your instructor brings out Amway products.
6. When you are looking at the trophies you notice not all of them are for martial arts.
7. The contract to join the school is considered a kata (and verty long at that).
8. No students are sweating.
9. When at a tournament, your opponent high fives his instructor when he finds out who your martial arts instructor is.
10. When paying for you testing your martial arts instructor is not thinking and blurts out: “Do you want fries with that?”
Tommy’s dad brought him to his first Taekwondo tournament. Noting that the organizers seemed a little shorthanded he approached the table.”Good morning,” he said to the Director, “you look a little shorthanded. Anything I can do to help?”"Well it just so happens we’re short a fighter for the under 90 kg division,” the director replied”Sorry,” Tommy’s dad said, “I don’t know a thing about Taekwondo.”"That’s OK” said the director.
“We need Referees too.”
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